EVERYTHING!!!
Images:
Film of my Grandmothers safe
Film of garbage out
Film of clothing?
Commercial Clips
Grandmother/Mother? Images or Film
Sound:
I don’t think that I will have any music. If I do, it would be an instrumental. Haven’t really gotten that far; first I guess, I need to get what I want to say.
Language:
Voice Over

Watching her wardrobe expand but her mind sink into depression, I knew that no matter how much she had, it wasn’t going to be the missing link, suddenly making her feel complete. It wasn’t long before I realized that happiness couldn’t be bought, no matter what they tried to sell you on the tv. She had all of the things that she wanted in the world, yet it just left her hungry for more.

This brought me back to the days of my childhood. I grew up watching my grandmother preserve relics from her past in a safe. She wasn’t hiding her money; she was preserving her mementos with sacred air. She saves. It’s what she does. All throughout my life, my favorite treat was opening up that safe with the shiny silver key; unlocking a door to past times, to past memories. With each tiny relic, she had a story. I would sit, silenced, motionless, hearing her words dance around my ears. When my grandmother had little to cook, she used to make dinner combining all of the stuff that she had in her cupboards. This made me long for the stories, for the resourcefulness of past times. I wondered why it was my grandmother that had all of my report cards and not my mother; that had the slippers from the hospital the day that I was born, and my diploma. Why this gap between generations; from mother to daughter, old and new?

I chose to avoid my mother’s fate while my grandmother’s ways guided me back to the woman that I wanted to be. It started out small, to live more frugally to avoid my mothers ways, but eventually it spilled into my life from the north, south, east, and west. I had always had a love for old things, but never had I imagined that I would appreciated it in the ways that I grew to. Eventually, I chose the thrift store for birthday shopping over the mall. Upon that, the worlds got a cold; with so much waste and pollution attacking its lungs, I made a vow to buy no new; no clothes; no shoes; no objects; handmade cards from scrapes and presents. I have found more love in these things and in myself for choosing the unpaved path. My character now runs deep like the roots of a willow tree. In an age where consumption is promoted, I have chose to be one less mouth to feed; instead I’d take the scrapes, make them feel loved, like an old lady giving a home to stray cats. I found myself, and happiness in the old; in everything old; old ways; old people; old objects. These days, I long to hear my father say; you have your grandmother’s ways.

Those days on my grandfather’s bed left me hungry. I learned more about myself in relation to my family but the insatiable hunger grew; I needed to learn about myself in relation to the world. My first door to another time opened in a strawberry field. Surrounded by green, I begin my hunt. It isn’t long before I hear my mother and sister frantically calling me. And there it is; orange and chiffon has never looked so beautiful. I gape in awe. Frozen. Struck by its delicateness. I touch softly, as if not to upset the aged fabric, as if it will be the last thing that I will ever touch. My fingers graze its story like the pages of a book. And when I finally put it on, I am a flapper. Already, I am closer to the roaring 20s then any history book could ever account. My first vintage dress, a real time machine.

Time is an ocean, swallowing the new like broken glass, washing it onto its shores creating smooth, colorful, sea glass. In an age where things are built to break, I’ll hold onto those that were built to last; that were brought to life by hands and not machines; that took months to make instead of days; that valued quality over quantity; the product over the money. Keep eating, I have no problems taking all of your scrapes, my little morsels of wisdom. Let me take them all, make them feel loved, like an old lady giving a home to stray cats.

Part I:

The film is about old things. The less obvious subject is about the stories and history that old things carry with them. I am trying to understand how I have come to choose the old over the new. How have I come to value old in a society where new is advertised as better. Another less obvious subject would be how the relationships with people in my life helped to form these opinions. I guess that I already know that my grandmother saved things from her past, this impacted me as a child. My mother used to take the ugliest old furniture and turn it into something amazing. My mother, however, had a little bit of a shopping habit, so I watched her buy and buy new things to the point where it wasn’t healthy. I guess this ultimately made me reject the feelings of needing new, new, new. I hope to understand how I have arrived at this stage. I think that these ideas are subconsciously at the root of my family, but nobody in my family is really like this to my degree, so I hope to understand why it impacted me more than others.

Part II:

I used to think that things were disposable, but now I realize that everything has a story. I used to think that I needed new, but now I realize that old can be better. It gives you a better connection to your history. I like that older things were made in a society. I get really down about the direction of the world and how it is so driven by money.
The catalyst, again, is my family. I watched my grandmother save objects from her family, not for money, but as reminders of other times. She told me their stories. Learning about history, about my past, has brought me closer to these feelings.
The results, it helped me learn and understand who I was as a person in this society. It helped me explore who I was and how I got here. It makes me value the quality of things in the past over the idea of quantity now. Quantity=Money. People used to be so much more connected to the things that they sold, now it just seems to be about money. I reduce, reuse, and recycle to help reduce waste!

Part III:

I feel more connected to the past. You can’t really know yourself unless you know you past. It helps me know my place in the world better. I see the potential in things that are broken, or worn out. I don’t feel like I need to buy new things to be happy. I feel like I am more free to express myself in a different way, to feel more connected to history.

I want my audience to value the old, to realize all of the stories and past that they carry with them. I think that most people think of older things are trash or outdated, but I’d like them to realize that you can make them your own and it would really help the environment and condition of the world if we did try to reuse and repurpose things. I think that by connecting things to teaching you about your past, this can help to explain the topic.

I also didn’t realize how much waste is created by Americans each year.

Waste Statistics

Link to a Community

It was really hard to find stuff about my topic. I was interested to learn that there were so many different kinds of stores. I really didn’t know what was behind the type of store that it is. I really liked reading a lot of the blogs that I found. It was nice to hear people that share the same feelings and love for old things that I do.

Another moment, was at my grandmothers house. She always kept old things in a safe. She kept things from her parents and grandparents. This is interesting because most people keep money in a safe, but here, subconsiously (I am getting this right now), I am learning that she values old memories and things from her past more than anything else. I remember that my favorite thing as a child was getting to go through the box. It was like a little time machine. I guess this is really where I began to love the connection to old things. I feel like I learned about myself through them…

Having these links to the past… I guess I am thinking that it would be cool to show time through a clock, or an old watch. Filming that clicking… maybe. To show the craftsmanship that used to go into something, I think it would be nice to show an aged hand working with wood… I am thinking about that safe… and the key opening it (kind of like a door to the past). I still have the dress (its a skirt now), so I could use that in the filming. I don’t really know a lot about filming…

I guess that when I try to get to the root of why this is so important to me, it relates to the fact that I love old things. I love things with character; things that have thier imperfections; things that have been aged with time. For some people, these things may be broken or old, but to me they are just getting better. I think that there is a distinction, here, too. I am not the kind of person that wants to collect old antiques that have gone through time, unused and preserved. The fact that somebody loved it before me makes it that much more valuable. Another aspect that I love about old things is the craftsmanship that went into making them. Nowadays, things are made on an assembly line by the millions with no personal touch going into any of them. Back then, people spent time on just one garment, they put there all into one piece. That makes things that much more important to me.

I don’t want to concentrate on shopping, so now I guess that I don’t really know where to go. I just see so much beauty in the old, and that is something that is really important to who I am as a person. I have no idea where this came from, my family is the furthest thing from feeling the same way as I do. My parents didn’t have any sort of antiques. They are all kind of like… where did you come from… Although, I think more and more they are beginning to appreciate my love for old things. It has been almost contagious. But I just wonder where all of my feelings came from.

Questions:
What is it about old things that draws me to them?
What qualities do I look for in something?
What does it mean to me as a person?
Why? Where did this come from?

Sometimes I wonder about the story behind things. Sometimes I make them up myself. I imagine the kind of person that would have owned it before me. I wonder about the stories behind things with their imperfections.

As an insider, I guess that I would want people to know that if you are committed, the thrift store really does have amazing treasures. Its like a treasure hunt. Its not all 80′s prom dresses, polyester, and sequins (though there is a lot of that, too!) I think that it helps to have an eye, to see the potential in things. It doesn’t help looking at things under neon lights with the awful smells that seem to pollute every thrift store that I visit, but if you can just look at something and imagine all of the things that it could be (with a little help), every visit will be a success.

I think this is a good example of a personal essay film.  It has nearly all of the qualities that we covered in class. The creator uses his memory to create the video.  He uses mementos from his childhood and present years, to paint a clear image for the viewer. He uses imagery that pertains to the topic.  The theme of Star Wars (and film) in the author’s life is the repetitive theme throughout the short film.  In the beginning, the viewer is not really sure where it is going, but all of the moments come together at the end, in one final statement that helps to sum the film (and author) up.  The author began making this film to document the continuing Star Wars trilogy, but through it, began to examine himself.  He took this passion and from it arrived at bigger questions about how far he has come in life, yet, how much he has stayed the same.  

Personal Statement

I think that this video is a pretty good example of a personal essay film.  It uses reflection, or the drawing on memories to guide it.  The author talks about how his life as a musician started out and how it got him to where he was going.  It uses images and sound to evoke feeling into the viewer.  He used his past love for one instrument into his new passion for the guitar.  At the end, he says “If you want to know about me, you have to know about my music,” again, here is the “big moment” where all of the little pieces begin to come together.  The viewer finally realizes that without music, his life would mean nothing.  

obsessions:

• I have always loved school, I think that is why I am going to school to be a teacher.  September was my favorite month because it meant back to school.  On my first day of school, I packed by bag with all of the books that I had, I thought that was what you did.  The bag weighed more than I did.  I love learning and I love teaching kids.
• I live to help people.  I spent a week in a high school volunteering my spring break in South Carolina.  We helped rebuild houses for a poor community.  Nothing is more rewarding than helping others.
• I love going to the thrift store.  My new years resolution was not to buy any new clothes, presents, ect. Haven’t broke it yet.  I love old things.  I don’t know what it is, but I am drawn to something with history.   
• I write.  All day I write poems in my head.  My favorite time to do this is before bed and in the shower.  I never have a pen here, so I generally forget, though, I still feel like something has been realized or released.  If I didn’t have writing, I would be lost.  It helps me to make sense of my world.  e.e. cummings is my favorite poet.
• I am obsessed with traveling.  My first trip out of the country was to Costa Rica.  Since then, I havent been able to stop.  I have also been to Ireland, Italy, and Puerto Rico.  I love going to new places and meeting new people.  Cultures and different people fascinate me.  I love learning how other people live.  
• I grew up in the country, so I love all things having to do with nature; plants and animals.  I can’t kill an animal, not even an ant.  If I find a spider, I bring it outside.  I make my boyfriend do the same…

pasttimes

• reading
• writing
• watching football
• canoeing
• tubing
• camping

I always have the best intentions when picking up new hobbies, though, I never go whole heartily because my list always seems to be too long.  I want to learn too many things for this lifetime!  

Presently, I am trying to learn how to:

• Play the banjo
• Take care of an orchid
• Cook 
• Sew
• Change the oil in my car
• Belly dance  
• I just learned how to knit, I knitted one washcloth and then put the knitting needles down.  I am not even sure if I could remember how to start one again.